Word of the Week - Marriage
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” - Ephesians 5:31
I hope you and your family had a blessed Christmas and are enjoying some quality time together during this holiday season as we prepare to bring in the New Year!!
Amy and I are away on a short trip celebrating our 34th wedding anniversary. Yesterday for our anniversary, we enjoyed a nice evening together in front of the fireplace reflecting over our 34 years of marriage and the good work that God has done in each of us through our marriage. We are still growing and maturing in our relationship with the Lord and one another but have come a long way over the years and we find ourselves in a great and exciting place. As I have shared in the past and Amy would agree, being in a marriage relationship for 34 years has been the single most challenging and rewarding thing of our lives. There have been some extremely challenging seasons in our marriage journey along with many periods of joy and fulfillment. As we reflect on our years together, we are most thankful that we stayed committed to one another and persevered through the difficult seasons. Like most things in life much of the reward/harvest comes after long seasons of planting and plowing. God’s principle of sowing and reaping is a reality in most areas of life including marriage and family. We are grateful that at this stage of life we are reaping blessings with 3 amazing godly daughters, 2 awesome sons by marriage and 8 beautiful grandchildren that are truly the joy of our lives. Our relationship is better than it has ever been, truly by the sanctifying grace of Jesus at work in us and our marriage. We are dreaming about the future and excited as we move into our 35th year of marriage. We believe that our best years are ahead and can’t wait to see what God has in store for us and our family. This time of celebration and reflection reminded me of the purpose and power of the sacrament of Marriage some of which I have outlined below:
The sacrament of Marriage is a beautiful gift from God; whereby one man and one woman become united as one through the sacrament of holy matrimony. For followers of Christ, this union is the only life-long covenant relationship before God (spirit) and man (law). God established the sacrament of marriage to mirror Christs relationship with His bride, us the Church. “Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given to her to wear.” (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people.) Revelation 19:7-8
Our most refining relationship – The marriage relationship has many benefits and has the potential to produce our greatest blessings in life such as children/family, deep companionship and unconditional love. It also has the potential to produce the most pain and strife if not submitted to the Lordship of Christ. Since it is a God ordained covenant relationship, when we get married we are signing up for a lifetime commitment (covenant) regardless of the circumstances that life throws at us, “until death do us part”. This is pretty intense when you really stop to think about it. I am not sure I really understood this on my wedding day. There is no doubt that God knew exactly what He was doing when He instituted the sacrament of Marriage, where two people from different families of origin come together to become one, which in itself can be a major challenge. No matter how much we love our spouse, there is always going to be friction as we die to ourselves to become one, and navigate the blessings and challenges of life. This is truly a refining and sanctifying process that either breaks us, or if we allow the spirit of God to work in us, it helps us conform to the image of Christ. I can honestly say that after 34 years of marriage, there is nothing on earth that has challenged and refined me as much as my marriage relationship with my wife Amy. I know that God has used my marriage to make me a better person in every area of my life, thank you Lord Jesus!!!! Ephesians 5 is one of the most beautiful books in the bible as it describes our relationship with Christ in the context of the marriage relationship; “and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 5:2. Paul goes on in Ephesians 5 to give us instructions on our roles in the marriage, first and foremost that we die to ourselves by submitting to Christ and one another, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” Ephesians 5:21. Specific instruction for wives “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” Ephesians 5:24, then to husbands, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25 I think the Lord makes it pretty straightforward for us but are we willing to trust Him by His word?
Marriage prepares us for our eternal union with Christ - God is so good that He designed marriage for our benefit to enjoy the beautiful blessing of covenant companionship and the process of reproducing and building our families so we can have a heritage and legacy that we can pass to future generations, which is a wonderful blessing. That being said, I think His greatest purpose in the sacrament of Marriage is to prepare us for our union with Him as the bride of Christ. He gave us a tangible way to experience a small glimpse of what we have to look forward to for eternity and to help prepare us for our great wedding banquet with Christ. I have found over the years of marriage that the most important key to having a good marriage is to stay connected to your spouse. This requires intentional daily pursuit, we have to continue to put logs on the fire to keep the fire burning strong. In other words, we have to make our spouses a top priority to keep a healthy and growing relationship. Our marriage begins with a great ceremony exchanging vows before God and man but only thrives if we stay connected over a lifetime, which is easier said than done. I believe our marriage relationship resembles our walk with God through our relationship with Jesus. It begins with the day we surrender our hearts to Jesus and commit our lives to Christ, but it only survives and thrives if we stay connected to the vine of Christ through our daily abiding walk with Him. In fact Jesus said we can do nothing of the Spirit unless we are connected to the vine of Christ. “I am the vine and you are the branch, if you abide in me I will abide in you, and you will bare much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
As we grow in marriage and unity with our spouse we must depend upon God to give us what is needed to become a godly spouse and as we abide/connect with Christ, we become more Christ like in preparation for our eternal union with Christ. These things work together to help us become who God called us to be in Him. What an amazing God we serve.
Married Couples Ministry - God is so good that He often uses the areas of our struggle as our opportunity for ministry to others. Amy and I are stepping into this by co-hosting a marriage enrichment event as an extension of Heritage Forum. The next Heritage Married Couples event is scheduled for February 25-27th at the beautiful Pursell Farms. You can learn more by visiting Heritage Married Couples Retreat. We have limited space but still have a few spots open. If you are interested in learning more, please email me and I will get you more details about registration.
I pray blessings over your marriage and family as we close out 2024 and look forward to the New Year!!!!