Word of the week - Friends
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” Proverbs 17:17
I am returning from a bucket list trip where I spent a week fishing for Peacock Bass in the Amazon Basin of Brazil with 7 friends. It was a fantastic experience that I will always remember. I caught hundreds of Peacock Bass, 4 that weighed over 10 lbs, and 2 over 13 lbs, see pictures below. The area we fished was extremely remote (2 hour float plane ride from any civilization), beautiful and pristine. As I reflect on the trip, I am filled with gratitude to have such an amazing opportunity. But what I am most grateful for is sharing the experience with 7 godly friends. Catching big Peacock Bass is an experience of a lifetime, but doing it with good friends makes it far better. I am blessed with some great friends, men that build me up and help me become who I am called to be. Over the past week we shared a lifetime experience together, celebrated each other in the victory of catching big fish (Trevor actually caught one a little bigger than my biggest one), shared some of our deepest pains and fears around the dinner table, ministered to the camp host and staff, prayed for each other, and built each other up. This is such a rich blessing and I believe what God intends for all his sons and daughters to experience, the joy of friendship. This is a key component of living the abundant life, “the life that is truly life”.
Friends – There are few things in life more important and fulfilling than having good solid friends. We all desire to have friends that we can spend time with and count on during both the good and challenging times of life. There is a true joy that comes from friendships that cannot be found anywhere else. A friend is defined as someone you enjoy being with and share enduring affection, esteem, intimacy, and trust with. A true and healthy friendship is defined by a mutual unconditional love. This may be different from the type of love you receive and give to your family or spouse. Good friends show unconditional love and expect nothing in return. They don’t judge you or think less of you when they see your weaknesses or when you share your deeper thoughts, fears and challenges with them. They are considered a safe place to be transparent and process things that you might not share with others. They will love and support you through the challenges of life. Good friends are also willing to tell you things that you don’t want to hear. They don’t shy away from telling the truth and helping you see things you cant see, exposing blind spots. “As iron sharpen irons so does one friend sharpen another” Proverbs 27:17
Friends help us overcome the challenges and trials of life – “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.” 1 Peter 4:8-9 Part of the reality of life is that we will all face trials and adversities in life. “In this life you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world” John 16:33. One of the keys to going through tough times and persevering through the trials is having great friends to be there to support, encourage and protect as we endure the trials of life. We were not created to do life alone and we all need help and encouragement to navigate the challenges of life. We can comfort one another with words, physical presence and prayer. “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” Galatians 6:2. We can encourage each other in the process and always point to the hope of Christ and his promises, helping each other keep an eternal perspective. We often are inclined to give up too early but with good friends especially those who are Christ followers “band of brothers” we can be encouraged to hang in there through the pain to get to the other side so we can experience God’s best for us. “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all”. 1 Thessalonians 5:14
What does it look like to be a friend - A true friend will love you even in the worst of times. They will bring out the best in you and help you pursue godliness and realize your potential. They will not gossip about you behind your back. They will pray for you and stand up for you. They have your back. They will forgive quickly when you offend them. They are faithful and trustworthy. “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are doing”. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
How select our close friends – Proverbs teaches us to pay attention to the character of the friends we choose to build deeper relationships with. We should avoid close associations with those who don’t have good character and are bad influences. This includes those who lack integrity, are dishonest, disrespectful, abusive, or selfish. It also wise to avoid close friendships with those who are judgmental, gossipy, or self-centered. “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character” 1 Corinthians 15:33 In finding good friends it is also to share faith and core values, to be like-minded especially as it relates to our beliefs and world views. It is even better if you have a shared ministry mission that you can do together. It is also helpful to share in hobbies and recreational interest like fishing, hunting, golf etc., so you can enjoy and do life together.
How to be a great friend – The best way to find a great friend and build a meaningful friendship is to be a great friend. Be the kind of friend that you desire. Live by the golden rule. When we follow the teaching of scripture, we will become the type of person others want to be around, loving others with a Christlike brotherly love, and treating others the way we want to be treated. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.
Take time today to send your friends a text and let them know how much you love and appreciate them.
I hope you had a blessed Independence Day!!!
-Duane