Word of the Week - Children

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him.  Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them” Psalm 127: 3-5

Amy and I hosted our second annual Cousins camp at our farm this weekend.  We had our four eldest grandchildren Selah, John Michael, Hazel and Lily for a weekend of fun and adventure.  It was an action packed and delightful weekend that included fishing, scavenger hunts, music, dancing sessions, prayer, worship, and much more.  Amy and I are a bit tired but really fulfilled and grateful for this special time with our grandchildren where we get to enjoy them and pour into them in so many ways.  Children are a blessing, but grandchildren are surely double portion of God’s blessings.  See attached pics from the weekend.

Our Children and Grandchildren are a blessing from God and as parents of our families we need to understand our role and involvement in influencing and receiving this blessing.  With divine order comes divine blessing, especially as it relates to raising up our Children.  God is sovereign over our lives and our Children but He is gracious in allowing us to participate in the process as parents.  He loves us and desires the best for us and our families, thus allows us to influence our Children and families, which ultimately influence and impact the world for His Glory.  Being a parent is an amazing blessing but also a big responsibility.  We as parents with God’s help, have the opportunity to sow into our Children and “Train them up in the way he/she should go, And when they are older they will not depart from it” Proverbs 22:6  

God our heavenly Father has a great model and plan for Parenting.  To understand how to impart God’s ways into our Children I believe we as parents must first become Children of the living God and have a personal intimate relationship with Him so He can impart His wisdom into our hearts and minds.  We cannot give what we do not have, and the only way to possess the things of God is to be connected to the vine of Christ through an abiding relationship with Jesus. John 15:5.  Even though we serve a God of order and principal, many of the things of God come through revelation not necessarily through logical reasoning.  So to know the things of God you must be connected to His spirit to receive His guidance, especially when it comes to the complexity of parenting, it does not always make sense.  I clearly remember when I came to Christ at the age of 33 how God so graciously began to change my perspective on parenting and reveal to me so many ideas that were vital for me at the time because I had two young daughters Mary Kathryn and Saige and really had more questions than answers in regards to parenting.  It is like the lights started to come on, and as I grew in my relationship with God through prayer, reading His word and being discipled, I saw so many things that I had been blind to prior to knowing Him.  It totally changed me and the way Amy and I parented our Children and I believe ultimately changed the trajectory of history for our family and our lives.  Fortunately for me this happened before my daughters entered the challenging phase of teen adolescence. 

So what does it look like to raise up your kids in a godly manner?  As in most things of God and the spirit, it is an inside job that is more caught than taught, and must begin in our hearts through surrendering our lives, including our family and children to God by acknowledging that our Children are a gift from God and thus they are really His Children that we get to train for a short season of life.  Similar to other blessings, He is their heavenly Father so the reality is we are simply stewarding God’s children. We must get the right perspective and not take possession of our kids and think they are here for us.  From a biblical perspective, we have two primary objectives as parents: 1) To teach, train, equip and model our kids in their walk of faith and do everything we can to ensure that they have a relationship with Christ, and 2) to help them develop and understand their unique talents/giftings and connect with their life purpose so they become healthy, productive and godly citizens who live out their vocational calling to make a difference.  Our job is simply to help them through the “Journey of Transition” from dependence on us as their parents to dependence on God as they become adults. “Discipline your Children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.” Proverbs 29:17

The challenging years of adolescents - One of the most critical and challenging phases of parenting is when our kids are going through adolescents (generally between the ages of 13-17), the transition from kids to young adults.  This is a natural and healthy process when our Children desire to begin the process of gaining independence from us as their parents.  If we don’t have godly clarity and are not equipped with the proper tools this can be a very confusing time that can lead to life-long challenges if not navigated well.  It can feel like rebellion if not put in the right context.  I was blessed with the opportunity to attend JH/Outback www.JHranch.com ; www.jhoutback.com just as my oldest daughter was coming into adolescents.  The godly wisdom that God imparted in me and my family through JH/Outback were life changing and an amazing blessing that continues to impact our family today.  I highly recommend both of these organizations and encourage all parents to take your son/daughter through an Outback or to JH Ranch in their formative teen years, it will truly bless you and your son/daughter.  The simply key is to understand our roles as parents as our kids grow and mature.  As our kids grow we have to change our roles and interact with them in different ways.  This is not necessarily intuitive but it makes perfect sense if you understand it from a biblical perspective.  Check out the attached outline of the Journey of Transition authored by Bruce Johnston the Founder of JH/Outback.

Our Children and Grandchildren are a blessing but even in the pain of our Children going astray, by faith God’s plan is perfect and redemptive.   There is no doubt that our biggest blessings in life to date are our 3 daughters, Mary Kathryn (32), Saige (30) and Isabella (20), our eight Grandchildren Selah, John Michael, Lily, Hazel, Neriah, Kyle, Elouise and David 😊!!!!   Not to mention the wonderful joy of having two sons by marriage who I get to enjoy life with, especially enjoying God’s creation through hunting and fishing which we are blessed to share as a hobby/passion.  It just keeps getting better and I am so grateful.  All that being said, I do understand the reality of the brokenness of our world and the pain that comes when our relationship with our Children are not good and healthy.  Sometimes no matter how well we parent our Children, they go astray as in the story of the Prodigal son in Luke Chapter 15 “My son, the father said, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.  But we have to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was lost and dead to sin and is now alive again; he was lost and is now found”. Luke 15:31-32  I do want to encourage you that it is never too late to begin the process of surrendering our Children to the Lord, even if they are grown.  We serve a God of redemption and second chances so be encouraged, there is always hope.  God is a healer and He desires to heal all His Children and family relationships.  In fact, God ends the Old Testament with the following promise “I will turn the hearts of the parents to their Children, and the hearts of the Children to their parents” Malachi 4:6

I apologize for the length of this “Word of the Week”, I am passionate about family and God’s generational plan for our families, so I have too much to share.  So much so that I founded a ministry called Heritage Forum www.heritageforums.com . 

Have a blessed week,

Duane