Word of the Week - Marriage
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Ephesians 5:31
My wife Amy and I hosted our first Heritage Forum Couples event last week at Pursell Farms and it reminded me once again of the blessings of my marriage relationship with Amy. This is the first time Amy and I have ever really done ministry together especially at this level. Over the past 5 years since founding the Heritage Forum www.heritageforums.com, I have worked with a team of friends/leaders to minister to hundreds of high-capacity men in the area of building a godly Heritage to leave a lasting godly legacy. This is something God put on my heart several years ago, which led me to start the Heritage Forum. It has been an amazing blessing over the last five years to watch God do great work in many men and their families. Being able to host a couple’s event with Amy this past week was an answer to many years of prayer and “immeasurably more than I could have hoped are imagined” Ephesians 3:20. This was truly a blessing from God that did not seem like a possibility just 6-12 months ago, but not for the amazing grace and healing power of the Lord. We started the event by welcoming everyone and then together as a couple having Amy share our/her testimony with the 20 couples that were present. God used it to do His great work like only He can do. We experienced the joy and power that comes from ministering together as a married couple in unity in Christ. It reminded me of the purpose and power of the sacrament of Marriage.
The sacrament of Marriage is a beautiful gift from God; whereby one man and one woman become united as one through the sacrament of holy matrimony. For followers of Christ, this union is the only life-long covenant relationship before God (spirit) and man (law). God established the sacrament of marriage to mirror Christs relationship with His bride, us the Church. “Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given to her to wear.” (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people.) Revelation 19:7-8
Our most refining relationship – The marriage relationship has many benefits and has the potential to produce our greatest blessings in life such as children/family, deep companionship and unconditional love. It also has the potential to produce the most pain and strife if not submitted to the Lordship of Christ. Since it is a God ordained covenant relationship, when we get married we are signing up for a lifetime commitment (covenant) regardless of the circumstances that life throws at us, “until death do us part”. This is pretty intense when you really stop to think about it. I am not sure I really understood this on my wedding day. There is no doubt that God knew exactly what He was doing when He instituted the sacrament of Marriage, where two people from different families of origin come together to become one, which in itself can be a major challenge. No matter how much we love our spouse, there is always going to be friction as we die to ourselves to become one, and navigate the blessings and challenges of life. This is truly a refining and sanctifying process that either breaks us, or if we allow the spirit of God to work in us, it helps us conform to the image of Christ. I can honestly say that after 32 years of marriage, there is nothing on earth that has challenged and refined me as much as my marriage relationship with my wife Amy. I know that God has used my marriage to make me a better person in every area of my life, thank you Lord Jesus!!!! Ephesians 5 is one of the most beautiful books in the bible as it describes our relationship with Christ in the context of the marriage relationship; “and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 5:2. Paul goes on in Ephesians 5 to give us instructions on our roles in the marriage, first and foremost that we die to ourselves by submitting to Christ and one another, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” Ephesians 5:21. Specific instruction for wives “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” Ephesians 5:24, then to husbands, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25 I think the Lord makes it pretty straightforward for us but are we willing to trust Him by His word?
Marriage prepares us for our eternal union with Christ - God is so good that He designed marriage for our benefit to enjoy the beautiful blessing of covenant companionship and the process of reproducing and building our families so we can have a heritage and legacy that we can pass to future generations, which is a wonderful blessing. That being said, I think His greatest purpose in the sacrament of Marriage is to prepare us for our union with Him as the bride of Christ. He gave us a tangible way to experience a small glimpse of what we have to look forward to for eternity and to help prepare us for our great wedding banquet with Christ. I have found over the years of marriage that the most important key to having a good marriage is to stay connected to your spouse. This requires intentional daily pursuit, we have to continue to put logs on the fire to keep the fire burning strong. In other words, we have to make our spouses a top priority to keep a healthy and growing relationship. Our marriage begins with a great ceremony exchanging vows before God and man but only thrives if we stay connected over a lifetime, which is easier said than done. I believe our marriage relationship resembles our walk with God through our relationship with Jesus. It begins with the day we surrender our hearts to Jesus and commit our lives to Christ but it only survives and thrives if we stay connected to the vine of Christ through our daily abiding walk with Him. In fact Jesus said we can do nothing of the Spirit unless we are connected to the vine of Christ. “I am the vine and you are the branch, if you abide in me I will abide in you, and you will bare much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
As we grow in marriage and unity with our spouse we must depend upon God to give us what is needed to become a godly spouse and as we abide/connect with Christ, we become more Christ like in preparation for our eternal union with Christ. These things work together to help us become who God called us to be in Him. What an amazing God we serve.
If you would like to enhance your marriage especially as it relates to communicating with your spouse, I would highly suggest you watch this message from Jimmy Evans with your spouse if possible on Successful Communication in Marriage Jimmy Evans - Successful Communication in Marriage. I have listened to this message 4-5 times since I first heard it back in the fall. Amy also really valued the message and we have referenced it many times.
-Duane