Word of the week - Kindness

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Kindness is defined as the quality or state of being friendly, gentle and considerate.  I would suspect that we all desire to have these qualities but may not have the highest marks in the area of Kindness if we were graded by our family and peers.  I personally value the attributes of Kindness and desire to possess and demonstrate these qualities but often fall short in this area.  In my own self-evaluation I find that other priorities and personality characteristics such as desiring to be straight forward and efficient often undermine my Kindness.  I think part of this is my intrinsic fallen nature and the other part is my lack of truly understanding what it means to be Kind and recognizing the loving Kindness that God has extended to me/us by His amazing grace though the life and death of Jesus.God’s Kindness is truly amazing and a wonderful model for us to understand the true definition and essence of Kindness. Divine Kindness - God’s kindness is demonstrated throughout His Word and the life of Christ.  It is manifest in what is referred to as “common grace” in that God is inherently Kind to all (psalm 145:9), even when we His sons and daughters are ungrateful and disobedient He still shows us Kindness.  “Yet while we were sinners Christ died for us” Romans 5:8.  “For it is the Kindness of the Lord that leads us to repentance” Romans 2:4 Even while Jesus was on the cross He was showing Kindness by forgiving the very soldiers that were crucifying Him when He said “Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” Luke 23:34.  Then he turned to the criminal next to Him and invited Him to be forgiven and told him “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise”. Matt 27:44Kindness aims to do good in a way that is gentle and mild, in a way that is sensitive to the needs of others.  It is never harsh.  I am learning that Kindness goes beyond our intent; it is working to understand the other persons perspective so they can receive the intended blessing in a manner that builds goodwill.  In other words it is as much about our delivery as it is our intention.  I find this very challenging because it implies we are responsible at some level for how people feel when dealing with us.  It is not simply having good and pure intent but how you deliver the message.  As much as I love the Kindness of the Lord, many times I can overlook this value in life and not give it the priority it deserves.   I know I have been guilty of this and I am working and praying to overcome because Kindness is a key to healthy relationship and the true purpose of the Christian life is having healthy relationship with God and others.So what are some practical ways to show more Kindness in our interaction with others?  Dale Carnegie in his book “How to win friends and influence people” really highlights some practical ways to show Kindness:  1) Become genuinely interested in other people, 2) Smile, 3) Remember the person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language, 4) Be a good listener.  Encourage other to talk about themselves, 5) Talk in terms of the other person’s interests, 6) Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely. I think all of these align with biblical Kindness.Finally, we should not confuse Kindness with “being Nice”.  I think this is one of the biggest confusions around the true meaning of Kindness.  Being Kind does not always look like being “nice”.  Having a pleasant disposition does not mean always making people happy or telling them what they want to hear; that is flattery and really counter to loving Kindness.  Sometimes Kindness means disappointing other people, even making them angry.  Kindness is based on foundational principals based in love and doing what is best for people whereas niceness is mostly based on doing what makes people “happy” in the moment.  Sometimes Kindness is difficult and means saying “No”.  It is not Kind to enable a person in something that is not good or beneficial to them just because we don’t want to disappoint them.  I think the key is to have good and pure motives based in the love and to slow down enough to communicate with others in a gentle and considerate manner.  Just like most of God’s truths, showing Kindness to others will not only make life more pleasant but it will win favor with God and others and allow for more blessing in our lives.Lord, I pray that you would give me the capacity to know and experience your loving Kindness so I can extend the same to others.  Yes, even to my enemies and people I don’t really like.-Duane