Word of the week - Children
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them” Psalm 127: 3-5
Amen!!!! Our Children and Grand Children are a blessing from God and as parents of our families, we need to understand our role and involvement in influencing and receiving this blessing. With divine order comes divine blessing, especially as it relates to raising up or Children. God is sovereign over our lives and our Children but He is gracious in allowing us to participate in the process as parents. He loves us and desires the best for us and our families, thus allows us to influence our Children and families, which ultimately influence and impact the world for His Glory. Being a parent is an amazing blessing but also a big responsibility. We as parents with God’s help, have the opportunity to sow into our Children and “Train them up in the way he/she should go, And when they are older they will not depart from it” Proverbs 22:6
To understand how to impart God’s ways into our Children I believe we as parents must first become Children of the living God and have a personal intimate relationship with Him so He can impart His wisdom into our hearts and minds. You cannot sow seed that you do not possess, and the only way to possess the things of God is to be connected to the vine of Christ through an abiding relationship with Jesus. John 15:5. Even though we serve a God of order and principal, many of the things of God come through revelation not necessarily through logical reasoning. So to know the things of God you must be connected to His spirit to receive His guidance, especially when it comes to the complexity of parenting, it does not always make sense. I clearly remember when I came to Christ at the age of 33 how God so graciously began to change my perspective on parenting and reveal to me so many concepts that were vital for me at the time, because I had two young daughters Mary Kathryn and Saige and really had more questions than answers in regards to parenting. It is like the lights started to come on, and as I grew in my relationship with God through an abiding relationship through prayer, reading His word and being discipled, I saw so many things that I had been blind to prior to knowing Him. It totally changed me and the way Amy and I parented our Children and I believe ultimately changed the trajectory of history for our family and our lives. Fortunately for me this happened before my daughters entered the challenging phase of teen adolescence.
So what does it look like to raise up your kids in a godly manner? As in most things of God and the spirit, it is an inside job and must begin in our hearts through surrendering our lives, including our family and children to God by acknowledging that our Children are a gift from God and thus they are really His Children that we get to train for a short season of life. Similar to other blessings, He is their heavenly Father so the reality is we are simply stewarding His children. We must get the right perspective and not take possession of our kids and think they are here for us. From a biblical perspective, we have two primary objectives as parents: 1) To teach, train, equip and model our kids in their walk of faith and do everything we can to ensure that they have a relationship with Christ, and 2) to help them develop and understand their unique talents/giftings and connect with their life purpose so they become healthy, productive and godly citizens who live out their vocational calling to make a difference. Our job is simply to help them through the “Journey of Transition” from dependence on us as their parents to dependence on God as they become adults. “Discipline your Children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.” Proverbs 29:17
One of the most critical and challenging phases of parenting is when our kids are going through adolescents (generally between the ages of 13-17), the transition from kids to young adults. This is a natural and healthy process when our Children desire to begin the process of gaining independence from us as their parents. If we don’t have godly clarity and are not equipped with the proper tools this can be a very confusing time that can lead to life-long challenges if not navigated well. It can feel like rebellion if not put in the right context. I was blessed with the opportunity to attend JH/Outback www.JHranch.com ; www.jhoutback.com just as my oldest daughter was coming into adolescents. The godly wisdom that God imparted in me and my family through JH/Outback were life changing and an amazing blessing that continues to impact our family today. I highly recommend both of these organizations and encourage all parents to take your son/daughter through an Outback or to JH Ranch in their formative teen years, it will truly bless you and your son/daughter. The simply key is to understand our roles as parents as our kids grow and mature. As our kids grow we have to change our roles and interact with them in different ways. This is not necessarily intuitive but it makes perfect sense if you understand it from a biblical perspective.
There is no doubt that our biggest blessings in life to date are our 3 daughters, Mary Kathryn (27), Saige (24) and Isabella (14), our two Grand Children Selah Marsh (23 months) and John Michael Matthews (15 months) with two more on the way😊!!!! Not to mention the wonderful joy of having two sons by marriage who I get to enjoy life with, especially enjoying God’s creation through hunting and fishing which we are blessed to share as a hobby/passion. It just keeps getting better and I am so grateful.
All that being said, I do understand the reality of the brokenness of our world and the pain that comes when our relationships with our Children are not good and healthy. Sometimes no matter how we parent our Children go astray. I don’t necessarily understand this but I know that God uses all things for good. Romans 8:28 I do want to encourage you that it is never too late to begin the process of surrendering our Children to the Lord, even if they are grown. We serve a God of redemption and second chances so be encouraged, there is always hope. God is a healer and He desires to heal all relationships. In fact, God ends the Old Testament with the following promise “I will turn the hearts of the parents to their Children, and the hearts of the Children to their parents” Malachi 4:6
I pray the Lord’s blessings over you and your family during this Holiday season and that you would get to experience the delight of being blessed with Children and Grand Children, especially during this time.
Have a great week,
-Duane