Word of the Week - Difficult People

What causes fights and quarrels among you?  Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?  You want something but don’t get it.  You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want.  You quarrel and fight.  You do not have because you do not ask God.  James 4:1-2

I don’t know about you but dealing with difficult people is one of the biggest challenges in my life.  I am convinced it is part of God’s perfect plan to put difficult people in our lives to test us and help us grow and become more Christlike.  I believe this is what God calls sanctification.  Whether you are a follower of Christ or not, you will have to deal with difficult people in life.  So what does God’s word say about dealing with difficult people?  I can assure you that God’s ways are not our ways, in fact from my perspective, God’s ways seem to be quite counter-intuitive.  That being said, I am convinced by my experiences on this topic that God’s ways are much better than my natural inclinations and surely much more purposeful and life giving.  The bottom line is that we can only change what how we respond and act towards others, so it is more about us then it is about them.  In fact, I think we need to continue to ask the question to ourselves if we might just be the “difficult person”.I heard a recent message by Pastor Chris Hodges on what God’s word instructs us about dealing with difficult people:

• First, He tells us to Overlook offenses.  “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense”.  Proverbs 19:11
• Second, He tells us to Pray for them.  “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Matthew 5:43-44  
• Third, He tells us to Forgive them.  “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you.  Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”  Colossians 3:13
• Fourth, He tell us to Bless them.  “Do not do wrong to repay a wrong, and do not insult to repay an insult.  But repay with a blessing, because you yourselves were called to do this so that you might receive a blessing”. 1 Peter 3:9
• Finally, He tells us to do Good to them.  “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written;  “It is mine to avenge; I will repay, “ says the Lord.  On the contrary:  “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. “Do not overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:17-21

I am convinced that the only way we can even come close to walking this out in our lives is by the grace of God through the power of the Holy Spirit. The bottom line is that if we truly receive and comprehend what God has done for us, then we will have the capacity to love and bless difficult people.  Since we have been forgiven much we have the capacity to forgive much.  “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave us”. Ephesians 4:31-32We are blessed so we can be a blessing, especially to those that are most difficult because it is the Kindness of the Lord that leads us/them to repentance.Have a great week.-Duane